The title of today’s post is the very cynical last line of American Gothic, a song by David Ackles. I have long used this as the theme song for the most cynical man in Washington. That man is now in a Washington DC hospital, surrounded by all of his friends. Reports differ. Some say he is braindead, kept alive by the miracles of modern medicine, but has suffered a complete and permanent loss of all function. We don’t really know. His wife, former Trump Cabinet Secretary Elaine Chao, took off to China. His daughters are suddenly off social media. Scott Jennings of CNN said that he talked by phone with Mitch for 17 minutes, which is hardly credible.
Many senior Washington insiders are either loved or respected or both. Not Mitch. In 2024 the Kentucky State AFL-CIO took the time to list The 17 Worst Things Mitch McConnell Did To Destroy Democracy (there’s that 17 again). Some of those items would also be on every MAGA list. Even the three Republican trying to replace him fling his name as a curse at their opponents.
Forbes reports that there is video footage of Mitch being taken from his home by ambulance. The 911 call is public. An unconscious individual needed Advanced Life Support. Cardiac Arrest! CPR! And now he is totally alone in a hospital room. Will he ever leave that room on his own power? Who knows. There is even talk that some Kentucky politicians are hoping that he can be kept alive until August 3rd so that the seat would remain vacant for the balance of this term. And wouldn’t that be the most cynical and fitting end to both Mitch’s life and his political legacy, kept alive to wait out the clock?
There will be a long line, one day, of Americans patiently waiting to piss on Mitch McConnell’s grave. I truly hope that with G-d’s grace he lives another 40 years. I’m in no rush. I just want to be healthy enough to stand in that line.
Dave
Picture – A Likeable Turtle – David L Cunix