Same Ol’…Same Ol

It’s Tuesday. Tomorrow morning the big blue truck will stop in front of my house again. Every week the trash man comes. Usually on Wednesday. Sometimes, when there is a holiday, Thursday. As I dragged the heavy plastic cans to the curb, I realized that I had just done this last week. I was not pleased.

Some people like the way life falls into predictable patterns. Monday you do this. Tuesday you do that. I don’t. I want to do something. Do it well. And be done.

I remember when I bought my house in South Euclid. I went to the store and bought a lawnmower. I bought a good lawnmower. I mowed the lawn. I did a great job. Who knew six days later the grass would need cutting again? I had done a good job. That should have been it. But no, I have a new hobby. Once a week, from May 1 to September 30, my lawn demands my attention. I mow, but it keeps growing back.

I am a big believer in the precept “Work smarter not harder.” That of course, does not apply to mowing your lawn. Even if through practice and training you become the world’s greatest mower, you will still be out there a week later pushing the Toro. And ignoring it doesn’t work, either. I’ve left town for a couple of weeks, not once thinking about my yard while I was gone, and the grass still grew in my absence.

One day my children will drag the cans to the curb and mow the lawn. They know this. That is why were all counting on modern technology to come to our rescue. One Tuesday, hopefully not too many years from now, I will carry my trash cans to the curb for the last time. And if I’m really lucky, I’ll push the mower there, too.

Thirtysomething update: Since last we looked in on Hollywood’s version of us, much has happened. Melissa has realized that even though she dresses like an eighteen year old, she really can’t live like one. Elliot continues his rapid maturity. One wonders if some TV researcher has determined the “EL” needed to be reworked. Hope, apparently ready to deliver triplets and suffering mood swings Sam Kenison would be proud of, came perilously close to having an affair. Speaking of affairs, Ellen is still pretty messed up. Gary might get tenure. And Michael has great shot at sainthood if he would only convert. Don’t worry. If anything unusual occurs, I’ll keep you posted.