Don’t Cry For Me Ashtabula

I had a dream last night. Our Senator, Rob Portman, was on a balcony, in a dress, addressing a crowd. The crowd was, of course, gathered to see someone else.

With sincere apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber

It won’t be easy
You’ll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
But I still crave your vote after all that I’ve done

You won’t believe me
I never really was that guy on TV
A congressman and trade rep
And hardly a misstep

But this is different
He might tweet nasty things about me
I should be braver
Instead I’ll just flee

Don’t cry for me Ashtabula
I don’t run again till twenty-two
You’ll forget by then
It’ll be in the past
I’ll ask for your vote
And bury this fast.

Ohio set the Guinness Book of World Records for most tomatoes thrown.


Picture – Pre-tomato – David L Cunix