The Ohio Primary has been pushed back to June. Our muffled voices might be heard. Our choices as nominees of the Democratic and Republican tickets may have some bearing on the final outcome of these races. We might not be irrelevant.
Two men entered the Republican primary in New Hampshire. As I write this in Mid-March (the deadline of a monthly publication can be a real pain). Buchanan and Bush are still mud wrestling for the nomination.
Over a half a dozen “legitimate” candidates began the race to become the standard bearer for the Democrats. Today only three, Clinton, Tsongas, and Brown, have managed to reach the first turn. The Democrat horses appear to be more in search of a glue factory than engaged in a run for the roses. You may be experiencing déjà vu. Me? I feel like I’m just stuck with leftovers.
Newspapers, even monthly singles publications, have two responsibilities at election time. The first is to encourage you to vote.
EXERCISE YOUR RIGHTS
FULFILL YOUR OBLIGATION
Ok, I’m done. Our second responsibility is to suggest for whom you should cast your vote. This is called endorsing a candidate. We are charged with the duty of finding the right choice, the safe choice for our country. As editors, publishers, and good government types we know who the best candidates are. Honest. The task of choosing the Ohio’s Finest Singles endorsed Republican and Democrat has fallen on me. Frankly, I don’t know what I did to Joyce to deserve this honor, but hey, I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to tell 130,000 readers how to vote.
Republican: Ohio’s Finest Singles is proud to endorse Dwight D. Eisenhower for the Presidency of the United States. We’re not bashful. . We like Ike. Now some of you may have noticed that Ike isn’t running this year. We will not be deterred. General Eisenhower was the last Republican to run that we could vote for without shame. Even dead, Eisenhower is more courageous that George Bush. And he has spent the last twenty-five years more productively that Pat Buchanan.
Democrat: Ohio’s Finest Singles endorses a man with experience. A man who has done it, and done it, and done it, and done it. No, we are not talking about Teddy Kennedy. We want F.D.R. Yes, we endorse Franklin Delano Roosevelt for President. Cast your vote for the REAL Democrat. We’re tired with this fixation with Massachusetts. Kennedy, Dukakis, and Tsongas are pale imitations. Clinton has more skeletons in his closet than Jeffrey Dahmer. And Jerry Brown’s dreams could really screw up our realities.
Fearlessly, Ohio’s Fines Singles endorses Eisenhower and Roosevelt. The economy is freefalling and our foreign policy is adrift. Surely we could do a lot worse that these proven leaders. And, neither ever bounced a check in the House Bank.