There Is No Cure For H.C.S.

H.C.S. can affect even the youngest of girls. The condition has been known to impact some women their entire adult lives. I was talking to one of my friends who is afflicted with H.C.S., Hot Chick Syndrome. Actually, afflicted isn’t the right word. It only takes little bit of effort (and product) to maintain the condition, but yes, since you asked, she would like a drink.

Nell may protest, but she has a classic case of H.C.S. She is tall, thin, blonde, a veritable Shiksa Goddess. And like her Dudley Do Right namesake, she is always a damsel in distress. That may be the constant. H.C.S. causes a continuous need for something. Women with H.C.S. must need something, otherwise they wouldn’t be calling.

There is no reason to discuss the perils Nell was facing today. I resolved some and side-stepped a few others. Much like feeding a stray cat, the excessive desire to help a woman with H.C.S. guarantees that you’ll never be lonely at dinner time.

How does an attractive, potentially self-sufficient woman contract H.C.S.? It may be inherited from her mother. Dad, who she kept wrapped around her finger during her formative years, might also be at fault. The culprit may be a teacher or other family member. Or, her H.C.S. may be the result of years and years of getting anything she wanted from her male peers. No matter the cause, the results are the same. H.C.S. doesn’t cause women to act irresponsibly or selfishly. No, stuff just keeps happening and thank G-d you were able to help. And yes, a drink would be nice.

And an appetizer. They do serve appetizers here, don’t they?