There are those who would blame COVID. There are just as many who would say that it is a function of age. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am prepared to accept responsibility and to admit that I find myself reflexively saying NO to almost any invitation. I don’t wish to give the impression that people are breaking down our door trying to get Sally and I to socialize. And we aren’t hermits hiding in our condo. But, I have caught myself mentally, if not verbally, answering NO before the invitation has been fully offered.
The text came early Wednesday evening. The couple was going to their favorite restaurant at 6 PM tomorrow. Would we like to join them? The couple are lovely. The restaurant is also one of our favorites. We haven’t gone to dinner with another couple, any non-related couple, in months. So, I immediately responded, “Thank you. Sally is working tomorrow till 8:30.” That was easy. I mentioned the invitation to Sally a few minutes later. She reminded me that she would be off at 4:30, not 8:30. And though she is just as apt to say NO as me, she admitted that she would like to see them and join them for dinner. I was relieved. Since I had provided a specific excuse that turned out to be wrong, I felt some obligation to correct my error.
We went to dinner and had a wonderful evening.
It can be very easy to say NO. Work was always a great excuse. It is hard to go anywhere if you are stuck in the office. Joe Jackson noted in the song, My House, that the character had given birth to a perfect little alibi. The kids, and for some of us, the grandchildren, seem almost too conveniently in the way. And yet when your friend turns you down, again, for lunch because of some school function, you just nod your head understandingly. YES takes effort. YES involves risk. YES might even involve money and it will definitely take time. NO is easy. No is too easy.
Sally and I have said YES three times in the last few weeks. I wouldn’t call it a trend. This social openness is hardly a breakthrough. Let’s just say that we are putting our toes in the water.
The water feels pretty good.
Dave
Picture – Dinner With the Fishes – David L Cunix